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Eight Reasons Why You Should Marry a Programmer

I think a programmer isn't an obvious choice when considering the type of person you would marry, but I'm here to tell you that we make great spouses! And here are 8 reasons why!

I feel that programmers get a bad rep, usually perceived as loners, often obsessive about some pop culture of long ago, and never happier than when mushrooming in the corner of a dark room away from society. In my professional years, I have met hundreds of programmers of varying levels and I want to impart my opinion to you. Yes, often they are introverted but they are generally the most wholesome, honest, and knowledgeable group of people around. Do yourself a favour, get to know one. Heck! Marry one! You won't regret it!

Before I give the 8 reasons why you should marry a programmer, I'd like to confess that as a happily married man, I was way too anxious to sanction the content of this blog post with my wife, maybe if I had I wouldn't be writing this now! 😂

Without further ado, here are 8 reasons why you should marry a programmer...

1. They’re always cool, calm, and collected.

When all hell breaks loose and their website crashes, they are the ones who keep their cool and fix everything. When something goes wrong with the internet in the house or in the office, they are the ones who calmly troubleshoot and fix the problem, while the rest of the place is losing their heads worrying when they'll next be able to see their social media feed.

Well, this calm in the eye of a storm works in their personal life also, when you're stressed and ready to pull your hair out, no matter what the reason, they will be there to lend a calm and collected shoulder to cry on.

2. They’re never too busy to help you with your computer problems.

A programmer is never too busy to help their spouse with computer problems. They will always make time to lend a helping hand - even if it means multitasking between coding and configuring their partner's email. Sure, they might roll their eyes a little bit, but deep down they love being the go-to person for all things tech-related.

Plus, helping our spouses with their computer problems gives them a chance to show off their mad skills, and to smugly say, "I told you so" when their partners finally listen to their golden advice and things start working again.

3. They can fix just about anything.

Programmers love a challenge, so when something is broken, they will roll their sleeves up and have a go at fixing it. They have logical minds and usually have a general understanding of how lots of things work and because they spend their lives tinkering with techy things, they are not scared of trying something that may possibly break something else. 

Above everything else, they have spent their whole working lives searching for solutions to issues and blindly copying and pasting from coding forums such as stack overflow, they think nothing of googling the issue or searching on youtube, they are experts at it... They may have to take everything to bits to work it out, but the likelihood is, it will be fixed eventually.

4. They’re always up-to-date on the latest technology, and that means hand-me-downs.

The one thing most programmers can't tolerate is having to actually work on out-of-date technology. A dedicated techy wouldn't be seen dead with a Macbook that didn't have Apple's own latest silicon or god forbid they had to use a laptop that wasn't running the latest variant of Windows 11. But what does this mean for you? 

Well, for started you don't have to spend money on a computer, tablet or phone as long as you don't mind it being a couple of years old and let's face it, you don't need that new faster chip or whizzy graphics just to check your Facebook or send an email, but it's there on tap, handed down to you because your programmer spouse has no intention to work on something archaic to them! You can spend your hard-earned cash on something you actually do want!

5. They know how to enjoy life, even when they are working.

Programmers are a unique bunch, often seen as introverted, socially awkward, and downright nerds. But the truth is, they know how to enjoy life – even when working.

Why do they enjoy life so much:

  • They get to work with amazing people, usually surrounded by others who are just as clever and passionate about their interests as they are. This makes for a great working environment and some great friendships.

  • They get to solve puzzles all day. For them, work is like one big puzzle that THEY get to solve, and love nothing more than finding the solution to a difficult problem.

  • They are highly creative. Yes, believe it or not, programmers are creative people. They get to be creative in the way they solve problems. This flows into their daily life too!

6. They’re always learning new things.

Yes, a programmer yearns to learn. If they aren't sleeping then they are learning. New programming techniques and languages, how to use new software and tools, why the latest budget will bring the local economy down, how to say "Let the programmer win" in Wookie or why so many screams in movies sound weirdly familiar...

The point is that they are a fountain of facts and knowledge and a programmer just loves to impart that knowledge to their loved ones at every opportunity. You could never get sick of that right?

being married to a programmer means you will never be lost for interesting conversation again.

7. Your parents will approve

Your parents want the best for you, right? They don't want you to introduce the local toothless delinquent or work-shy dole rat. Imagine when you turn up with a shy but smart programmer on your arm.

The perceived parental view is that computer programmers have a future, they have brains, they prefer nights snuggled inside in front of the Xbox instead of raucous drink and drugs sessions down the local club, and of course, your spouse's genes will be passed down to their grandchildren. What more could they want for your future happiness

You will have their instant blessing

8. A programmer will love you more than life itself

let's face it, programmers can be a weird bunch, they probably spent most of their life hiding in their bedroom away from human contact doing what programmers do (sorry, that's a very best-kept secret, of which I am unwilling to divulge at this time).

Most programmers would never have dreamt that they could find someone they could love who would ACTUALLY love them back for all their quirks and nerdiness. But you do, and that is something they will hold onto a cherish for life. Some would call it an unspoken bond, some would call it a lifetime of fate but in all honestly, they are just grateful that someone wants to know them who doesn't have a brain as big as a complex city created from 0s and 1s.

And they get to have sex, with a real person... Like, for real! So of course they will love you for life ❤️

So there we have it, look around, find a programmer... Give them some love, marry them!

If you find this article interesting, could you please do me a favour by sharing it or commenting below, I would love to hear your and other peoples' thoughts on this subject. Thank you

Date: 16 Oct 2022
Author: Craig Pickles (YorkshireTechy)